Put to the sword
Last week, Mr. Fishtail reminded me that it had been some time since my last blog. Well, sadly, I’ve been very busy and just didn’t have the time to publish my post.
For a number of reasons, this few weeks, I’m literally put to the sword, whether I will emerge unscathed after these series of unfortunate events remains to be seen.
The series of unfortunate events began with the spectacular FAILURE of my Law & Morality assignment which was mentioned in an earlier article. Then, totally out of character, I barely managed to finish my Company Law assignment. Undoubtedly, both of these works were not of the standard required. I was also dragged head first into a Mock Trial Demonstration while I was in the midst of this catastrophe. If you think the tale is finished, you may want to revise that prediction because fate was only beginning to sharpen its sword.
Not too long after I thought the storm was over and was lulled into a false sense of security, I was summoned into the office of my coordinator (which is equivalent of the Dean of a Faculty since my college has NO Law Faculty). With a sense of enthusiasm on his face, which inadvertently brought and provoked a slightly dreadful contortion of my countenance, he suggested that I join the HSBC Public Speaking Competition, the KDU Moot Competition and the KDU Debate Tournament.
Bah! I’m NOT AMUSED!!! (In the end, I did enroll myself in the Moot Competition after much persuasion from Azlan, Weng Tchung and Pek Hong – although I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into!)
Also, yesterday, the STPM results were released. Naturally, since many scored excellently for the SPM, I had thought that my friends who had taken the STPM would have scored well too. Alas, while I was waiting in the dark room of the clinic to have my eyes checked (since my operation, my eyes needed annual check-ups), my friend sent me a message stating that she had failed all her papers. The poor girl was utterly distraught. I was totally dumbfounded and could not find the correct words of comfort. All I could say was the realistic response that failure in the STPM does not equate with failure in life. All of us will be given a 2nd chance if we choose to work hard and fight for our opportunities. Past failures doesn’t break a man, rather the rebound makes a man!
On a different note, my last 2 blogs were relatively romantically spiced. With the danger that my blog will be seen as a love column ala “Dear Thelma”, I’m keeping this part of romance on this current blog relatively short. Justine posted a comment on one of those 2 blogs saying that she doesn’t believe in love anymore. I totally disagree with her ill judgment. Do not get me wrong! Justine is perhaps one of the most brilliant and articulate girl I’ve have ever seen (and she has earned my utmost respect).
But, giving up on love is like giving up on life itself. If you have no love, how can you wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose? Life is colorless, tasteless and definitely meaningless without it. It’s the very reason that more and more of us are abandoning emotions for intellectual reasons that we have begun to see the declining world of today filled with the wrath of war, stench of hate and seeds of anger. Reason and emotions must be balanced. Neither is superior to the other. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks but still I cling on to bare hope that love still exists even though it may not be so evident at times. I know how it feels to despair. I know the pain when you feel that your heart is target practice for someone else with a quiver of deadly poisoned arrows. My heart has suffered like everyone else by the agony of love unrequited or rejected or worse still unappreciated and manipulated. My faith may wane but it takes more to convert me into some faithless because I still believe.
Everyday my heart bleeds slowly from the many wounds that it has suffered. The emotional daggers keep twisting deeper and deeper into my soul, ravaging and annihilating any ounce of dignity that had survived the initial ordeal. But, still I have faith. All of us shall find our path. And, even if we don’t, at least we can feel proud that we had stared straight back at Cupid and showed him that we fear him not. Perhaps, he shall show us pity?
Is it stupid to fall in love with someone with the probable conclusion that you may not end up with him/her in the end? I don’t necessarily think so. Love far supersedes reasons if u let it, and although it may bring despair, the joy while it lasts, is the best feeling in the world. It is what makes us human and different from other beasts.
For a number of reasons, this few weeks, I’m literally put to the sword, whether I will emerge unscathed after these series of unfortunate events remains to be seen.
The series of unfortunate events began with the spectacular FAILURE of my Law & Morality assignment which was mentioned in an earlier article. Then, totally out of character, I barely managed to finish my Company Law assignment. Undoubtedly, both of these works were not of the standard required. I was also dragged head first into a Mock Trial Demonstration while I was in the midst of this catastrophe. If you think the tale is finished, you may want to revise that prediction because fate was only beginning to sharpen its sword.
Not too long after I thought the storm was over and was lulled into a false sense of security, I was summoned into the office of my coordinator (which is equivalent of the Dean of a Faculty since my college has NO Law Faculty). With a sense of enthusiasm on his face, which inadvertently brought and provoked a slightly dreadful contortion of my countenance, he suggested that I join the HSBC Public Speaking Competition, the KDU Moot Competition and the KDU Debate Tournament.
Bah! I’m NOT AMUSED!!! (In the end, I did enroll myself in the Moot Competition after much persuasion from Azlan, Weng Tchung and Pek Hong – although I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into!)
Also, yesterday, the STPM results were released. Naturally, since many scored excellently for the SPM, I had thought that my friends who had taken the STPM would have scored well too. Alas, while I was waiting in the dark room of the clinic to have my eyes checked (since my operation, my eyes needed annual check-ups), my friend sent me a message stating that she had failed all her papers. The poor girl was utterly distraught. I was totally dumbfounded and could not find the correct words of comfort. All I could say was the realistic response that failure in the STPM does not equate with failure in life. All of us will be given a 2nd chance if we choose to work hard and fight for our opportunities. Past failures doesn’t break a man, rather the rebound makes a man!
On a different note, my last 2 blogs were relatively romantically spiced. With the danger that my blog will be seen as a love column ala “Dear Thelma”, I’m keeping this part of romance on this current blog relatively short. Justine posted a comment on one of those 2 blogs saying that she doesn’t believe in love anymore. I totally disagree with her ill judgment. Do not get me wrong! Justine is perhaps one of the most brilliant and articulate girl I’ve have ever seen (and she has earned my utmost respect).
But, giving up on love is like giving up on life itself. If you have no love, how can you wake up in the morning with a sense of purpose? Life is colorless, tasteless and definitely meaningless without it. It’s the very reason that more and more of us are abandoning emotions for intellectual reasons that we have begun to see the declining world of today filled with the wrath of war, stench of hate and seeds of anger. Reason and emotions must be balanced. Neither is superior to the other. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks but still I cling on to bare hope that love still exists even though it may not be so evident at times. I know how it feels to despair. I know the pain when you feel that your heart is target practice for someone else with a quiver of deadly poisoned arrows. My heart has suffered like everyone else by the agony of love unrequited or rejected or worse still unappreciated and manipulated. My faith may wane but it takes more to convert me into some faithless because I still believe.
Everyday my heart bleeds slowly from the many wounds that it has suffered. The emotional daggers keep twisting deeper and deeper into my soul, ravaging and annihilating any ounce of dignity that had survived the initial ordeal. But, still I have faith. All of us shall find our path. And, even if we don’t, at least we can feel proud that we had stared straight back at Cupid and showed him that we fear him not. Perhaps, he shall show us pity?
Is it stupid to fall in love with someone with the probable conclusion that you may not end up with him/her in the end? I don’t necessarily think so. Love far supersedes reasons if u let it, and although it may bring despair, the joy while it lasts, is the best feeling in the world. It is what makes us human and different from other beasts.
posted by Innerflame7 at 12:58 PM
11 Comments:
"Everyday my heart bleeds slowly from the many wounds that it has suffered." Gosh, quite a sad post, this. Just before this, I read A Touch of Tim's "Can I tell..." post and it was pretty sad too. And before that, I was talking to two of your lecturers (over breakfast) and they were pretty lamentive too. Must be the weather... Seriously, hope things get better for you guys.
We could not have thought of a better candidate to represent our intake for the mooting competition (other than Hou Tseng who is officially your partner ;D).
I would not have encouraged you to participate in the debate as well as the public speaking competition as well, which I am glad you have excused yourself from.
From a practical point of view, the mooting competition will do you more good than harm compared to the other 2. I would definitely have joined if not for the fact I am the organizer ;( Seriously speaking, the one single mooting session we had in legal skills is no where near enough isn't it? Treat this as a chance to improve :)
As for love, I think that so long as you do not confine the word to an extremely narrow definition, it's always worth believing in.
It's a tough and stressful time for all of us, just hang in there.
Mr fishtail : it is indeed a vr sad time for us. The color of the season has to be BLUE. I'm reading some books on psychology to better understand my feelings. It appears from the tests though that I'm showing some symptoms of depression.
Weng Tchung : I agree with the last part. The mooting competition is a good opportunity for us, I only rue the timing of it!
perhaps i may clarify my case and reinstate that i do not believe in superficial love any longer. i believe in a love that brings joy to the one who loves eventhough he/she may be in pain. interesting post though, truly, i believe that if you could write, a book for example, you would be one of my favourites. this is definitely not lip service.
Jia You! Jia You! We believe u and Hou Tseng can definitely do it WELL!! ;-)
a book?well....i've thought bout it. i did intend to write before i decided to enter the savage legal arena infested with the most menacing sharks! still thinking how to get on with it though.
tx Pek Hong. We will try our best definitely.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yes. i think you should write a book. the more i think about it, the more vivid the possibility.
Now you know me:)
1.yes sorry ying kai for my ignorance!
2.well....i got lots on my plate at the moment justine! writing a book was alwiz part of the plan, but, i will not suffer to write something of poor substance.Maybe one day if I can find my thinking cap again, then my name shall be enlazoned on some cover, while urs will definitely grace the preface. A dream unlikely to happen, but a hope that never wanes!
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