NTSO

It’s so peculiar that almost everyone I meet these days, whether it’s the man in the LRT home from KLCC, a group of teenagers waiting in line to purchase a movie ticket or a beautiful young woman sipping her coffee at Starbucks seems to be affected by the NTSO disorder. I’m not sure whether it’s just a Malaysian dilemma, (though I believe that our neighbors down south may be suffering from the same predicament as well) but whatever it is, a solution must be found quickly, for NTSO is a serious disorder that substantially cripples a person! Firstly, let me explain what NTSO really is. NTSO actually means the “need to show off” disorder. When a person has this handicap, he/she displays a very common symptom of either trying to put someone else down (to degrade someone) or simply to lavish himself/herself with praises so unnecessarily done that it seems distasteful. Let me give you one example of a very unfortunate case that I had to witness when I had lunch recently in Klang:

The Story:

Just the other day, I was having lunch at a famous bak kut teh stall in Klang with my family. My 14 year old sister was with me on that fateful day when we were unwillingly forced to witness a case of a person suffering from NTSO. To put things in perspective, he was a very rude dotard who had not only managed to spoil the day of his victim, but also the others who had to witness this unsightly event. Therefore, he shall be marked as D (for ‘dotard’) and the victim shall be marked as “V”.

V: Would you like to buy some cookies? (in Hokkien, if anyone wonders how I understood this, this line was translated by my father)

D: NO (with a loud tone, clearly showing his displeasure)

V: The cookies are very fresh. They were baked by my grandchildren (spoken in broken English, any linguistic mistakes made by the victim have been amended by the author).

D: Nola. You don’t understand English arr? No. (tries in vain to create a foreign accent, in which he fails miserably. He then turns around to his friend to lament the fact that Malaysians have a very poor command of English and thanking his lucky stars that he was educated in the UK not like the old lady selling the cookies)

(Author’s Note: 1. Malaysians may have a weaker command of the English than their British counterparts, but I dare assume that he falls within that category as well. Besides, he shames himself by proving that some Malaysians have a very poor command of their own manners as well.
2. I’m also going to the UK to further my tertiary studies. But, in bragging about these privileges, while insulting the ill fortune of others, perhaps he had better stay on home soil in the first place for he has not learned anything at all if he cannot even resemble a decent gentleman.)

V: (clearly not understanding the poor accent or perhaps weak in hearing, the old lady responds). These cookies are very nice. It only costs RM4 a packet. Do you want a packet?

D: (the dotard stands erect in an abusive manner while raising his voice to catch the attention of the other patrons of the restaurant) YOU STUPID OR WHAT? My English too good is it? (wildly gesturing and pointing to his head [Author’s Note: Perhaps to indicate that he had nothing inside his skull]) You don’t be rude with me arrr you stupid old woman! (Author’s Note: err…excuse me? But, who is being rude here?). I don’t want to buy, UNDERSTAND (sits his huge ass down with a thud on the fragile plastic chair)

V: (old woman walks away feeling bewildered at the sudden exaggerated aggression).

If I had not made my case clear enough, I hope this small real life example reminds us of how NTSO can affect us in many ways. It could be just a “need to show off” a new hand phone, a pretty girlfriend or a luxurious house in Damansara Heights, it is still NTSO. A major paradigm shift is needed. Can I offer anyone a slice of humble pie? Hold on…let me take the first bite.