Homesickness

2.30 a.m. the phone rings waking me up from my brief unsatisfying stupor.

I pick up the cellular to the sound of a voice of a familiar person so long not heard of. She was sobbing. For obvious reasons, the name of the caller shall be withheld. However, the reason she was crying is the topic of this post.

Today was her last day in Malaysia, well at least until she completes her degree. All of a sudden she was overcome by a feeling of confusion and she felt lost, just hours before her flight to London. I have to admit, I do not share her fear or doubts, and thus, I found it excruciatingly arduous to comfort her with words. My friend is stricken with fear. A fear that she will be alone for the first time in her life (albeit, technically, she wouldn’t be since she would have her boyfriend and her friends by her side in UWE) completely broke her literally down to tears. She wanted a good and sound education without being away from the safe comfort zone provided by her family. I knew she is very attached to her family and perhaps this had a lot to do with this sudden bout of panic within herself.

I tried my best to soothe her worries with the most assuring expletives I could find, and yet, I did not presume to have done a very good job at it. I tried to shift the responsibility by suggesting that she called her boyfriend or at least talk to her family about her fears. Alas, she did not heed this advice. She continued to scrape me bare for words of comfort which she presumably hoped that I could churn out from deep within.

Consequently, I had to endure a very nervous 1 ½ hour trying my best to console my weeping friend. At the end of the conversation, she seemed assured somehow. Miraculously, I did not think I had anything to do with it. I was wondering, if any people out there have ever suffered or are suffering from such symptoms?

4.a.m. I lie in my bed, tossing and turning, forcing myself to sleep with the knowledge that I’m troubled and beset by the fact that I may be facing this dilemma myself very soon.