The journey back

It has been so long since I blogged that I do not know where to start. To be honest, I could not even remember my User ID or my password initially. It has been far too long since I have had found the urge to say anything of worth that needed to be cleared out of the deepest reaches of my gut and soul.

Now, as I look back and read my old posts, memories come flooding back like water bursting through the embankments of the most volatile river. But strangely, I live these memories as a third person. I can remember seeing myself there, doing the things I have done (good and bad), feeling the glory and pain but not really experiencing it in the first person. It feels like I am watching a movie where I play a role as myself. It is strange, I admit, even for my standards.

These same fingers now, feel different, as they dance across my new keyboard. I feel different. I guess that is what time and age does to people.

Anyway, it is of utmost peculiarity to me that I dreamt I was back in the UK again last night. It has been years since I have had that dream. I was back in Oxford, in my dorm, but it was empty bar 2 strangers whose name I obviously do not know. I can remember feeling terribly cold and alone. I remember wearing a thick coat and shorts. SHORTS???!!! That’s right, I have finally lost all sanity that even my dreams are absurd. It actually felt EXACTLY like the first time I woke up in my room to a snowy day.

The only difference now is I woke up to a rainy day and a really high-powered air-conditioned room. Still alone in my dark room wishing that life was just a dream that I could sleep away.

Any psychologists out there willing to give a prognosis?

Oh well…I’m back, for now.